The Biggest Nothing that Ever Somethinged

A series of stories or thoughts. I'd call them essays but I doubt any will follow the proper MLA essay-writing format.

Recently, I was in a fast food restaurant because I hate myself and take it out on my body.

I went to use the bathroom but there was a keypad. I walked over to the cashier and asked him what the code was. Unfortunately, he had an incredibly thick Hispanic accent. So thick that I am only semi sure he said numbers.

I asked him to repeat himself twice. In my time in New York, I’ve developed a limit of only being able to ask a person with an ethnic accent to repeat themselves twice before I start feeling really uncomfortable. So, when I still couldn’t understand him after his third answer, I thanked him as if I could and returned to the bathroom door.

I tried pushing random numbers for 30 seconds (I think he said “six” at some point…?) and then gave up.

I headed to the subway. I was going all the way to Queens. I still had to pee. I hoped I make it.

In the end, I did’t end up wetting my pants. However, if I had, I’d just chalk it up to my payment for being white.

10 months ago